The Early ERA Cycle Experience
07/17/2023
Today was day 17 on my ERA cycle. After starting my period 17 days ago and beginning birth control, I was finally on the road towards something again. I had put myself back together after the defeat of the failed FET in May and was definitely ready to get things going again.
My doctor had advised that since I had a failed FET and we only have 1 good embryo left that the best approach would be to undergo an ERA cycle. I wrote all about that in my last post. Between then and now, things have been relatively uneventful. I’ve been staying busy between having my parents in town visiting, Mila being out of school for 1 month, working, preparing for Mila’s 2nd birthday, trying to spend some time with family and friends, all while still trying to remain focused on my fertility-friendly diet and trying to manage stress. I’ve found myself giving a few graces here and there in a few circumstances when I normally wouldn’t have. A small cup of froyo with my daughter, a few iced decaf coffees, a taste of a homemade crouton…it sounds so ridiculous to even say but going against the fertility diet “guidelines” can sometimes feel like I’m doing the thing that will cause the transfer to fail. It won’t, and that’s what I’ve come to realize. The stress it sometimes causes me to be so strict and never have a little treat here and there can make the whole process feel even more difficult, so I decided I’ll let myself have those moments when I feel I really need or want them. I also decided the most important time for buckling down is when I’m in the medication cycle.
Speaking of that, I am there now! Today I had my first blood and ultrasound appointment in quite some time and was advised that I can now begin my first medication of the ERA cycle, beginning with Lupron.
Lupron is the first medication (outside of birth control pills) used in preparation of a Frozen Embryo Transfer (FET). During a FET cycle, hormones are used (estradiol and progesterone) to prepare the uterine lining for the embryo transfer. Using Lupron during the luteal phase of the cycle before is the first step, as it will suppress the ovaries and reduce the risk of ovulation during the frozen embryo transfer cycle. Lupron usually continues throughout the FET cycle until 1 week before progesterone supplements start.
I was advised to begin Lupron today and continue until they tell me to stop. It is an injection that is administered into the belly using a small needle. They have advised that I will administer 20 units per day.
The next step is to stop birth control pills in 4 days. From there, I should expect a period at some point within the next couple of weeks. I will return to the clinic in 9 days for another blood and ultrasound appointment and determine next steps for starting the Estrace (estradiol).
I have been sharing much of my journey on my Instagram page @parentingsohardig. After a post on Day 13 of my ERA cycle I was contacted by a friend. Following my pregnancy announcement with Mila, I had shared details about what I had been through on my journey to pregnancy with her. The length of time it had taken to finally get to that moment. She connected with me following that post and shared that she was about to embark on her own IVF journey. I was ecstatic for her. We stayed in touch and I supported her along her road through IVF and then her successful embryo transfer! It was so beautiful and exciting to watch another friend go through a similar road that I had been on and to be able to support her. I knew how much it meant to have a support person that actually understood what the whole experience felt like. I had someone that had been that person for me as I went through IVF and my successful transfer as well. Eventually, she gave birth to a beautiful baby boy and it has been so fun so watch him grow over Instagram photos.
After my Day 13 Instagram post, she reached out. They were on their road to baby number 2 as well and she had just had her embryo transfer 7 days prior. Her beta test would be Monday. The same day as my Day 17 appointment.
Hearing that she was in her two week wait (TWW) made me both excited and also brought back that feeling of dread I’d once felt back in May. I was reminded of how awful that TWW was. How I had so much hope, then so much fear as I saw faint line and fainter line on my home pregnancy tests (HPT). I had asked her if she was being a good girl and avoiding the HPT and she said she had. I was proud. I’ve decided it’s the worst thing you can do! But I also felt so much excitement and so much worry at the same time for her. I knew that feeling of the negative result and I didn’t want that for her. I know that pain. It’s not fair and I didn’t want anyone else going through that.
Today arrived and my focus was all about my cycle and what was happening and what would be next. Another friend reached out and checked in on me and I was so grateful to hear from her. Then it occurred to me, had my other friend received her news? We had been communicating strictly through IG so I hopped on and there it was, a message. She shared with me that her beta test was negative. Her transfer had failed. Just like mine. My heart sank. I knew what she was feeling and I hated that for her. I tried to send some words of support. Letting her know it was OK to feel anything she needed to feel. Feel the anger. Feel the sadness. Feel the disappointment. Feel it all. We deserve to feel that when this happens. After all we’ve done, all the work, all the time, all the commitment, all the energy, all the focus, all the money! It wrecks you to get the news that it’s failed. She shared the same sentiment I had felt during my failed FET cycle - that we just assumed it would work because our first was so easy.
Now we both sit with this doubt in our mind. This worry about how many embryo’s we even have left and what happens if they don’t work. It’s a question I’m not really ready to answer yet. I don’t think I’ll even know the answer until I’m put in that situation. It’s the most awful thing we can think about and so we try to push it to the back of our minds. What good will it do to worry or think about it now anyway? There’s nothing we can do. So I try and focus and stay positive. Do what I can do now, in this moment. Go through the ERA and get my optimal window for transfer. Stay healthy, take my medications without fail at the same time daily, drink lots of water, get plenty of sleep, reduce my stress, go to acupuncture, try to relax…
We are now in this boat together. As much as I wish she wasn’t in this boat with me, we now both have a companion on this journey. Hopefully, we both reach a beautiful destination.
Thank you to everyone who has been sending me so much love and support through all of this. I’ve also been surprised and delighted by the number of people who have felt comfortable in opening up to me and sharing what they’re going through right now as well. I truly enjoy connecting with people who are going through this struggle and being a safe place of empathy, support, guidance, and understanding for my fellow fertility fighters! If you’re going through your own fertility journey now and need someone to connect with, don’t hesitate to reach out. Most people have been DM’ing me on Instagram.
I’ll continue sharing updates here on my blog as well as on my Instagram @parentingsohardig.
